Service unto God or self

God be Glorified.

We are all called to ministry.  The ministry of love, kindness, and compassion for our fellow man.

Before i start i have to say Thank You Jesus for this lovely Memorial day, for the men and woman and families that sacrifice their lives daily so that we may have the joy of resting in freedom.

These past couple of months have been the most interesting of all.  God is taking me on a journey from self to others.   As He has been doing this i am learning what it is like for leaders in the church.  You start by hearing the call. How, by Resting in His Word. Getting to know the Creator and His ways.  Then you see all that needs done and think to yourself i have to do something.  You go and do something, and do some more and do some more. Till your warn out and begging God for a day off.  We forget about the Rest. That it was in the Rest, that we could even see beyond ourselves and our needs.    i’m learning that if i rest in Him, He will direct my paths.  For even in the doing He has shown me not all i do He asked of me.

See i’ve been Blessed with a restored relationship with my mom.  So there is one person right there in whom i can minister Love , Kindness and Compassion too.  Seeking to understand her and her needs. As well as others The Lord has placed in my path.  In my zeal to help, and no longer be selfish and self centered, i for got that it is better to love fully then to do, just for the sake of doing.  Even if you are truly doing for others with good intentions.

i’m learning that the Whole body working together gets far more accomplished then just one person working alone.  That if i seek The Lord to serve those He has given me then my time will be filled with them and i don’t need to look in EVERY CORNER to find where i can help.  Isn’t it the ones closest to us that need us the most?

In His Mercy God gives us reprieves.  Oh Thank You Father.  It is in these reprieves that He tells me, ” listen it’s not your job to help every human being on the plant.   It is your job to Love ME, and those i have given you.  It’s not you doing any of it anyway.  It’s ME Working through you.”

Father may our lives be pleasing to you, may all we do, we do in Love for the Glory  of Jesus Name and The Exalting of Your Kingdom.

Experiences

Father God Jesus and Holy Spirit Be Glorified.

one of my neighbors just walked by.  Not only did it change my though but confirmed my reason for posting.  Wait i must go to him i for got his name.  Bob, but i heard and saw Jesus, (The Father).  wow it is Beautiful out.

so here i have been for awhile with God. working, seems more like Smiling and worshiping Him.  His Kindness so overwhelmed me after i spoke with Bob, that i had to lay before The Father and just let Him receive what little Thanksgiving i offered in utter Gratitude for His Kindness to me.

Back to the garden.  He just wanted me to Thank someone so, you know me had to share How Great and Merciful our God is.

Gift From our Father Through our KING JESUS CHRIST

Father Be Glorified

Thank You Father God for the sun, a Beautiful day, waking me.  Thank You, You that You want to spend time with me

Thank You for the revelation and Prayer and All Provision.

meeting someone’s basic needs-

define basic- for even the world tells us that can be defined individually.

Feed,Watered (His Word)  being heard (acknowledged known by name)  touched (experience)  Sheltered (COVERED by HIS WING, BLOOD) freedom of expression (goals, desires, living for)

Father God STEPS IT UP A KNOTCH. He Delights our hearts. The sun, Flowers, Love, laughter, what i call Eternal memories. Heaven on earth.  Music, dance, All Gifts From God our Father to God our Father.

All received by Jesus Perfect Sacrifice.

Think on that.  Who among you would lay down their child (God) life (Jesus) for sinful people who don’t even want to spend time with you. i hear ” I want your Thanksgiving,so when you are in need, I can rescue you and you shall bring Me Glory” Psalm 50 i believe

O the Love of our Father and our Lord.

His Blessings Overflow

The earth and all that is in it Declare His Glory and Goodness.

Habakkuk 2:14

for the earth will be filled

With the knowledge of the Glory of the Lord,

As the waters cover the sea.

Be still and know that I am God

Why do you think we have to be doing all the time?  How can we expect to hear if we are concentrating on our doing?  If Jesus Himself spent more time alone, quiet, before His Father, then He did in doing miracles.  Then why do we think we can be holy apart from resting in our Father?  Why do we ask for signs and wonders without first going to the Father as Christ did?

The more time i spend alone with God the more i realize He is the source of all i do.  i am coming to see that in the doing we get the credit.  We say i did this and that, me me me is the focus.  In resting we get no credit.  We are just what God created us for, fellowship with Himself.  No pomp just rest.  Maybe this is why i am finding people have such a hard time just resting in The Lord .  No focus is on them.   Funny thing is i find i get more done and with peace in my heart when i first seek and rest in God.

Abba Father give us hearts of rest.  May we only desire to seek You O Lord.

Father break me, empty all of me out.  Fill me with only that which is You Lord.  Place Your yoke alone upon my neck.

Isaiah 55:9-11. Matthew 24:35

God showed up like never before

Oh Father Your love amazes me.  how you turned my sin into Glorifing Your Holy name I can not explain but You did.

This i have learned that God will reveal things to us if we humble ourselves and ask.

it is not that one person knows over another, it is that He reveals to those that ask.

God is pointing out to me how much we rely on our own wisdom.

As i was on the toilet crying out to God i called out His name, told Him how amazing His love for me is, how i only seek to dwell in His presence.  asking Him to lead me in the way i should go.  i mean i was CRYING OUT TO HIM.

My roommate comes in and says “HE DIDN’T UNDERSTAND A WORD I WAS SAYING.

i asked if he was serious that i was speaking in English.  he said no i did not understand that which you said.

i lost it again.  singing God’s praises., professing His love and mercy on me.

See in all of this God showed me the unknown tongues that speak to God that humans can not understand.

He showed me how we humans think we can yield the gifts HE GAVE US, to our disposal.

i did not seek to speak in unknown tongues only to cry out to God and ask forgiveness, to be led by Him in the paths i should Go, to bring Glory to His Holy Name , to be obedient in all things.

by my roommate saying he did not understand that which i said  was God telling me He heard my cry.

i am more convinced now, more than ever that God not only is alive and with us He hears the crys of the humble, broken and contrite heart.   in one of my favorite Psalm it says. ” a broken and contrite heart You will not ignore”

By God’s Grace alone do i now know the depth of those words spoken through His servant David.

i will say it over and over till i die I CAN DO NOTHING APART FROM HIM .

This is what started the whole thing.  My roommate was advising me in what to do regarding my sin.  i agreed and told him i am seeking God.  He kept saying over and over agree with God we have choice.   i kept saying i can do nothing without Him.  that it is not i that chooses right only God that dwells within me.  he insisted i have choice in the matter.  i insisted that God wants us to rely solely on Him .   that i can not choose right without Him.

thus lead the crying out to God on the toilet.  (I had to go, sorry people for the details)   i say this only to stress the point God meets us any and everywhere we seek and cry out to Him.

i ask You Father to show my husband and all your children that WE CAN DO NOTHING APART FROM YOU.

That the lye satan tries to get us to believe we can  is just that A LYE.

Your Holy Word tells we can’t, yet Your children are deceived that they can.   As i pleaded in the bathroom, please do not let me be led astray, do not let me rely on my own understanding.  Make me to trust in You ALONE.

May God’s Peace and Revelation be on all those who read this.  Thank you ABBA

why we have it wrong

Do we not profess that “salvation does not come by works but by Gods grace and love for man, shown by Jesus’ death on the cross”?

Yet satan has us all fooled into thinking we must follow this set of rules and regulations.  God knows we can’t that is why He sent His only begotten Son  Jesus to die for our sins pay our debt in full.

Yet here i am. i made a mistake and a brother in Christ is accusing me.  WHY?  does he not know that no one can be perfect?  i am guilty as well.  i do not profess not to judge others.  i only profess that I am seeking God to serve Him the best i can.  i fail and you know what.  God knew i would. That is why i seek to bring  Him Glory.  because He knew i would, and yet He still called me by name to love and serve Him, preach the good news of His love and salvation.

i sought someone’s help with a problem.  and was received with accusations.

i am trying not to be wounded by this.  satan loves to use others to wound us.

i am not sure if the accusations against me are correct or not,  for i am selfish.  i do sin.  What i am asking is …..did not Jesus die for me also?

Are you who accuse me not also a sinner like me?

All i know is seek God seek God.  that is all i have.

Last night in home group i opened up a can of worms.

i said ” i do not see my salvation as a one way ticket to heaven.  i see my salvation as how can i serve God here and now.  with what i have and what i do”.

it seems we are so concerned with getting people into heaven that we miss the whole point.

God wants to live in and through us now today where we are.  not wait to fellowship with us when we get to heaven.

Father am i wrong?  Am i not to seek you even when i sin?  i thought that was what your Holy Word was all about.  using sinners like me to further Your Kingdom.   David a man after Your heart, was a murder and adulteress.  Yet You used him in a mighty way.

Paul who wrote 2/3 of new testament.  Did he not kill your children?

so way do my breathren accuse me?

did i sin YES!

did i repent YES!

did i seek You while sinning YES!

did i ask for help Yes!

so why Father do i sit here accused by those you also saved by Grace.

i am not judging my brother, for he was hurt by my actions.  That is why God asked  me to repent to him ask not only his forgiveness but help with my sin.

My dear brother in Christ i am sorry i hurt you, mislead you.  i only know to seek God seek God.   i have to have faith that God is using all of me.  that He is using the FOOLISH to confound the WISE.   it doesn’t always make sense to me either.  But God has shown me that even while i am in the act of what we/He call sin He uses me to bring Him Glory if I ask.

Please do not misunderstand me.  God does not desire i sin, only knows i will.  That is the point.  We can’t WITHOUT HIM

The whole point of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us is to lead us into all truth, lead us to see our sin, repent, seek God, and comfort us.  It was not man that lead me to repent and confess my sin last night, it was the Holy Spirit within me.  This is my assurance that God is with me.

Do i wish to be perfect, yes and no.  yes because this world would then maybe believe me.   (no it wouldn’t it didn’t believe Jesus).  No because i have learned that through my sin i rely on God.  When things are going well and all is happy i tend to tell God ” i got this don’t need your help”  but when i sin i know i need God.  i believe this maybe what Scripture was meaning when It says” God will cause all things for good to those who love and are called according to his purpose”  one of the meanings.

i believe this is the mystery behind using the foolish to confound the wise.

i am not saying i am right only that which i feel God has shown me.

So Father ABBA i cry out. please use my sin/mistake to bring healing and Glory to Your name.

Father strengthen me to do Your will.  Lead me in the way i should go.  Keep from the enemy.

I have caused so much pain to others in my life.  i desire only to bring healing and love.  i CAN NOT DO THIS WITHOUT YOU LORD.

FATHER YOUR WORD TELLS US YOU ARE FAITHFUL WHEN WE ARE NOT.  i will stand on that knowing You can not lie and that is the good news of REDEMPTION our Lord speaks of.

May i add no sin is greater than the other all is equal.  So if we are to accuse others we must not pick and choose which we call sin but what is sin against God.  All have fallen. my favorite Psalms says…it is You and You alone God whom i have sinned against and did this terrible thing.  You saw it all, and your sentence against me is just.  but i was born a sinner, yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.  you deserve honesty from the heart; yes, utter sincerity and truthfulness. oh give me this wisdom……………..David wrote that after he committed adultery and murder.   according to this world my sin was not as great.   yet i still ask for that which David asked.  Forgiveness and wisdom to do better.

My second favorite Psalm is “the one thing I want from God, the thing I seek most of all, is the privilege of meditating in His temple, living in his presence everyday of my life, delighting in His incomparable perfections and Glory’.

‘listen to my pleading, Lord.  be merciful and send the help I need’.

“my heart has heard you say, “come and talk with Me, oh my people.” And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming”

May God lead you to Him.  May all who read this seek God with all their heart, mind, and soul.  May that Spirit that dwells within keep us coming to Him for more and more wisdom.

Romans 5

if you read or listen to Romans 5 and on, you will clearly see the justice of God.  Jesus was so right that your hometown will not receive you. why do we see and do miracles in other countries?

if we are filled with the Holy Spirit where Do we preach/teach under rules and regulation?  we are so bound.  i could step out and go to the market place or city center. Would they listen there or would i be arrested for proclaiming the gospel of Christ Jesus? God i want to do your work, should i go to the town square OR follow protocol and wait my turn of authority?  Aren’t we given all authority.  So long as with a humble heart to serve You, we have all authority. We don’t want to offend elders (of church) either. so many dynamics.  i am to remain in Him!  As i seek more of Him in all things, things appear clear.
Father i know you are testing me on the house thing. i haven’t a clue if we should move. Funny how the one thing i think i am good at, and use to, i am reluctant to do. It seems to have God written all over it. we would have to totally give up self.  It would be like having a child not that mom is, but that there would be someone else there all the time. my life would change drastically. As would My roommate wow is he willing to do this?  He is right mom gets the other bedroom with bath across hall.  If she needs master in future it is all hers.

Wow Father this  place is beautiful. humble.  It has everything i want.  Lets get back to God.
Father how do you want me to serve you.  i am confused because we are spending so much time together but under what others would call false conditions.  As if You can be defined, how you God show up. God’s word tells us if it leads you to Jesus it is sound doctrine.  Jesus is the only way to the Father. Only by Jesus’s blood do i ever dare come to the Throne of God.  Through false conditions or not Thank you Father for showing up in my life.

Your revelation is too much to contain.  i want to shout it out.  How we are to just rest in You. The Holy Spirit does all the work. i scooped poop with You, went through cancer and death with You.   i certainly did not pull that off on my own.  i sought You Abba.  i pull weeds with you, cook with You, even get to dance with you.  Father you romance me with birds, breezes, oceans. i have fresh bouquets all spring/summer long.
i am starting to see you in my roommate.  Oh Father what healing answered prayer. Father i see the damage i have done with my words/actions. Father strengthen me to bring healing in your name.

On a side note . . . God showed me answered prayer. i always wanted an island in my yard- Roses, Bleeding Hearts, a water fountain, herbs, a Japanese Red Maple tree. Not to mention restoration perfectly timed with parents.That was You wasn’t it Father.Forgive me for taking credit for picking up the phone.  See how gently God shows you your pride?  Not condemning, but revelation that you took credit for something you did not do and that we only need to ask for forgiveness when we do see it?

God is the one that points it out.

Isaiah 55:10-11

Father what am i to do with this blog?  do i dare post these thoughts ?  do i dare seek accolades?  i desire it to only Glorify Jesus and God the Father, written only by Holy Spirit that dwells in me. Do i post pictures of times i enjoy with You. Every time i am with God is enjoyable.

Another thing God is teaching me.  That even the not so good times are enjoyable with God. why? how?  Because God always gives you reprieves one minute or one hour,  but you get them.  In those reprieves you soak in God.  His breeze, music, quiet prayer however you soak in God. read His word…. God will show up, and in that time with Him you gain Joy and Peace and Strength to go at it once again.  There are also seasons to this (suffering).  Sometimes it lasts a month, year, years but there is always and end.  His word says so…so that not even the elect…..God is all about seasons just read His word. That is where some of our hope lies.  God is merciful, it is against His nature to have us suffer too long.  Even His Own Son suffered but for a little while. Father in my suffering may i seek you always.  Jesus may i have your heart of obedience, eyes to see what the Father does, and ears to hear what the Father Says, the perseverance to do only Gods will.