Transformation part 2

Father Thank you for such a well rounded day.  Thank You for calling me by name in spite of all my sin.  Be Glorified.

Today was a day, i have yet to label good, bad, ?.   i got up ran out the door.  Stopped to buy coffee.  Our water line broke last nite so no home brewed today.   i went to a homeless shelter to do intern/volunteer work.  Been doing this once a week for 4 weeks now.

i go in to 1st session with head counselor and just listen as i normally do.  For i am not a counselor.  The woman is one i have seen for 4 weeks now.  What a Blessing to see someone grow.  Thank you Father.

There is someone who prays in another room while we are in session.  When they get a word from the Lord they write it down and God tells them which door to slide it under.  There are several counselors there.  Well this person is always right.  Why? because it comes from God.    Today when the counselor read what was written on paper i thought that’s for me.  What are the verses given with Word i asked her.  i looked them up and sure enough it was for me.   God is multi  His word can not only minister to one but to all.  This time it did to me.    See i was in that session disheartened at what satan is trying to do with my marriage.  i was holding back the tears and praying to God to comfort  me.  Well Jesus said ” Ask thou shall receive”  He doesn’t lie.  Those verses so comforted me, so did the word given.

If that wasn’t enough blessing while we are waiting on next client to come in.  Head counselor says i’ll let (my name) go in with the doc.  Then she will come in.  The doc did what he does, left and i was there alone.  God so showed up.  This woman was abused since childhood.  She does not want to go back there in her past and heal.  Who does?   God used me to show her how if we avoid our past and pain it will follow us to the grave.   It holds us in bondage.  That until we heal it.  It will distort every aspect of our lives.   Cloud our judgment.  This woman was not having it.  The head counselor had been trying for months to get her to face it  to no avail.  God and Only God softened this woman heart with His words in my mouth.   i told here that when we in our limited knowledge look at our past hurts we want to run from that pain.  When we do it ourselves we only rehash the past not knowing how to get to the root to bring lasting healing.  But if we invite God and a counselor into the mix.  Though it will still be painful it won’t be overwhelming.  That God will not ask her to heal over night.  He will only work on one thing at a time.  In a pace He knows she can handle.  That as one issues is address the other won’t be so bad.  That He and the counselor will know what to look for, how to get to the root.  How to bring forth True healing.     There will be times it will hurt, but God got you through the original abuse, He will be with you as you heal.   i asked her if She invited God to help her when it was happening.  She said no.  i told her then it will definitely be easier with Him by your side in healing process.     i told her what had happened to me.  Told her how  i was called a slut, whore, no good for nothing, should catch AIDS, for hours on end by  my dad.  Chocked so bad i had black and blues from ear to ear on my neck.  As he yelled i’ll kill you.   That though that healing hurt, here i am sitting here talking to you.  Never did i think that would happen.   The pay off  of  the healing is so great, it is worth revisiting the pain .  God is redeeming.  She asked who helped me.  i told her the head counselor plus other people God sends your way.

She said she believes everything happens for a reason but she doesn’t know why this happened.  i said so you can help others through.   She is like i was.  Always wants to know the WHY of things.   i told her God broke me of that.  His ways are not our ways.  His purpose is to lead all to Him.  That He will take the sin of this world and use it to accomplish that purpose.  We are not to ask God why?  But rather What do You God want to show me in this?  What do You God want to be for me in this situation, that You could not be at any other time?   God in the end judges.  So for us to get the why and think that helps really isn’t true.  It doesn’t bring relief.  Doesn’t right the wrong.  Just leaves us with more questions.   We will never know all the why’s of life.  Keep your eyes on God and when things happen to you, they will take on a whole new view.  They don’t affect us the same.  Because we are seeing them from Gods  prospective.   God is in the healing business.

Though she was apprehensive she saw that her pain is holding her in bondage.  That she can’t run from it.  God wants to restore her and will keep at her till she says ok lets heal this God.

It is in Gods hands now.  The counselor planted the seed, i watered it, and now God will bring the harvest.  Please pray for her.

When i was in my pain/drama never did i think one day 4 volunteer sessions later God would be using me to bring healing to someone.  How can i not sing of His goodness?  His restoring power?

God is showing me now in my pain.  ( it is inevitable on earth) that if i keep looking at Him.  i will be ok.  As soon as i look at me or the other person i will get bitter and resentful.  That only leads to more PAIN.  So i am learning KEEP YOUR EYES ON GOD.

That’s why 1st session i was crying.  i was looking at me not Him.  That is also why later in the day.  While at hardware store, buying water line i said to God please don’t let me cry here i’ll look like such a girl.  Well i asked God  to humble me in past.   So God had me litterly on my knees isle 3 crying and praying that that He will bring healing to the inner most parts of my husband and i.   God reminded me how i  would pray this with hubby before bed every night.  God  showed me that what is going on between us is just that HEALING!  Sometimes that hurts.

i just heard God say “stop saying what satan is trying to do in your marriage.  satan isn’t in control I God am.  God is healing my roommate and i.  Just cause it hurts Doesn’t mean it is from satan.   Does satan want to divide us YES.  Will he  NO.   Just keep your eyes on me God “.

Father Your Mercies endure Forever.  You are so Awesome!  How did i get so Blessed to be able to serve you in a way i always dreamed of as a kid?    Thank You Abba Father.

FYI verses were  Rev. 3:20   John 8:32,36    1Corth 14:1,3,5 < ….. < before these came under door, God gave me these verses…….. >Colossians 4:5,8  Colossians 3:12-17  Phil 4:4-6

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2 thoughts on “Transformation part 2

    • i have some of that myself on the matter. but Bible verses don’t lie and no one but God can hit the nail on the head when it comes to those. That is when you have to say God You see all things any deception here make it right and for Your Glory. then if man is deceptive it won’t matter. at least that’s what i do. but no, no cameras it’s a homeless shelter they can’t afford .

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