i am not sure if i was in the will of the Father when i decided to go to N.Y My prayer was Father if this be Your will make it known. The trip started off all wrong from my eyes. Stress, can’t find EZ Pass, can’t find directions on GPS. Well i talked to God and asked Him let me know if You are against this. By the way things were going i knew God was not for this trip. i prayed His protection for trip and car. i asked Him to show me who He wanted me to talk to. May i serve Him.
i get there rather smoothly for a drive to nowhere. i land in Jersey City N.J. i have never been there before.
There is a good story here but satan is at full swing trying to stop this post from happening. God must really want to say something to have so much opposition. IN THE END GOD WILL JUDGE ALL. HE AND HE ALONE HAS FINAL SAY.
See this is what satan is trying to do. Judge me. Satan does not have that right. Only God does. If you profess with your mouth that you believe in the Holy Written Word of the One True Living God. then you MUST BELIEVE HE HAS FINAL JUDGEMENT. Psalm 50 ring a bell?
Why am i having this debate with a fellow believer. one who is taking an apologetics class to defend their faith. i am backing all i say with Scripture they are backing it up with wanting to judge for themselves, or asking me to judge. i ask God to never let me judge. That what ever it takes to get me to see You God as Supreme above All i will endure it. i do not want to judge what others do and don’t do. Oh Forgive me Father. i now see how because i placed judgment on this person for what i saw as not doing, they placed judgment on me for what i am doing. it is written “We reap what we sow” one of my defense’s was: God can take the ugly and make beautiful. Isn’t that what we sang at church today? The whole sermon was on God’s sovereignty. So what we judge as bad God uses for His Purposes and Glory.
i can not mock God. It is Written. God can not be mocked. and it is also Written that the heart is deceitful above all else, who can know it but God. With this said: i pray that even with my smoking i can bring Glory to God’s Holy Name. i am Not saying that God agrees, wills, or wants me smoking He doesn’t. He just knows the perfect time to ready my heart to quit in His Strength NOT MINE. what i am saying is repeating God’s Written Word. He will use it for His Purpose to bring Glory to His Holy Name. Anything that does not WILL be burned in the fire. Hence He is Final judge of the smoking thing. All things!
i wish you were on this end hearing the conversation that was going on. God not only used the person to convict me, but to comfort me, and convict themselves. God is so Awesome. This post was to be about N.J so let me continue while i have quite time, to share my journey. Thank You for letting me get side tracked. God had something to tell me there.
While i was on my way to N.Y. i thought i would go to Hoboken and catch the PATH train. i had no GPS and was winging it based off roommates directions from phone. i am praying the whole way Lord help, guide me. i have no idea where i am going. People are passing me like Nascar drivers and this car tops out at 60 mph. Please don’t let me get lost, and help me find my way out later. Show me who you want me to talk to wile i’m there. i heard God say rest in Me. Trust that I will not lead you astray. That I know where to take you. This has been a running theme with God lately to His people. REST IN HIM
So i arrive and God gets me front row parking at (boardwalk?). OH have to give total props to God, HE always gives me public rest rooms when i need to go. THANK YOU JESUS FOR PUBLIC RESTROOMS. i get out and first thing i see is this beautiful tree. God knows i love tree’s. Then i look up and there is the whole Manhattan skyline. It was amazing! i never saw it from the Jersey side. Oh Father how you Blessed me while outside Your will of me going.
the picture above it a pan view of what i saw. and that’s the tree.
There were pier’s with chairs and tables, umbrella like lights, tables with chess boards on them, solar-powered trash cans. Dogs walking, people fishing, sail boats meandering by. i saw helicopters take off/land from my right. One Trade straight ahead. PATH to N.Y to my left and ferry to my right. Don’t forget Ellis and Lady Liberty to right. i wanted so much to go to N.Y but God said “stay right here, don’t get lost in trains and subway stops” Knowing what happened getting here and still concerned for how i’ll get home . i decided best to stay right here. Amazed at where God had taken me. i had never expected to see such a view. It felt amazing hearing water under my feet. God had taken me to Jersey City N.J
i talked with people, sang His Praises in my heart, i tried to blog, but had no wi-fi. i was very restless, couldn’t seem to be content, so i walked around from pier to pier, talking with people, blessing them. All the while feeling like i can’t settle down. i stayed another hour or two and left right around 9pm.
i knew i would have to cross the bridge i come over and was so not looking forward to it. i prayed God help me home. Show me where to go, get me there safely guarded by Your angels. Now it is night-time i have people doing 70 mph and my car feels like it is about to stop any minute. i can’t see the lines on the road. There is tons of construction on bridge and road ways. Not to mention i’ve never been on this road before. i was a mess. i will not take any credit for getting home last night. 100% God all the way. He was my eyes, ears, navigator, and protector. Two cars went to go in the middle lane in front of me. They didn’t see each other and only God stopped them from total side swiping each other.
i wound up on 78 west. Dark road and Thank You Father just realized no rain. what protection You give me. Well i was so tense my body hurt. i heard God say. “you asked me to show you if going to N.Y was my will” “Are you at peace right now?” of course the answer was NO. then i knew it was not His will. For ALL the other hints didn’t convince me. Father forgive me for going without Your consent.
Well here we are. So what does God want to do with this time we have? He wanted to show me how i must rely on Him for All. How He answered my prayer of protection, Angels. For there was an excellent car buffer around my car. (you know the 2 car rule between every car? Well i had 6 car lengths front and back). God wanted to show me how paralyzing fear is. How that is not of God. For in that fear i went to Him and He took over and got me over that bridge. This i can not explain. He is showing me how fear in mans view is different then His view. For the things we fear, God can save us from. Death from accident on bridge, me driving over the side, me casing others to die, pick a fear, any fear. Don’t they all lead to death in some form? The thing God asks us to Fear is His Presence Gone. For without God to save us where would we be? So long as God is with us what is there really to fear? Yet there i was fearing for my life on a dark construction plagued bridge. Going where, i don’t know.
This is the one thing i am seeking: that i see, feel, and talk with God everywhere. He showed me that when i am in His will i have total peace. There i can hear His voice lead and guide me. When i am out of His will i have fear, and tension in my body. Sometimes the things we want to do are not bad things, just not in His timing. He protected me anyway. So His Mercies Endure Forever. This leads me to want, to be in His will. For there i know rest. There i am pleasing to His sight. Loves me no more no less. But fellowship is not based off of ” A SAVE ME” mentality. More an enjoying of Who He is. Resting in Who He is. Oh that rest theme is coming up again. He is showing me Judgment, and fear and two big spirits that take us out of God’s Will.
If you only knew how much I loved you, you would rest and let me be your KING.
Father forgive me for doing what i wanted last night. Thank you for your Protection in travels, Your guidance, and discipline, and the beauty of Your Creation. Thank You for showing me the only thing to Fear is being without You. Father Bless and anoint these words. May they bring Life and Healing in Jesus Holy Name.
i feel this coming on. just like i knew i was out of Gods will, going to N.Y i know i am out of Gods will smoking. if He will protect me there, He will protect me in my smoking as well. Yes i may get emphazema, or cancer. My prayer is that if He allows it. i will bring Glory to His Holy Name while enduring my consequences. That is the cross i’d rather bare, verses the run on flesh quitting cross. i can’t quit without Him and will no longer try. Only He will Get the Glory, not my will power.