Evidence of Gods love

i was at a graduation party and saw a person doing something that i deemed way too much.   i so wanted to text my friend and share.  The Holy Spirit said no that is judgment.  i listened but than,  i had my friend over plus some and don’t you know till the day was over i was sharing the story.

Today at church the Holy Spirit brought this to my mind and said i need to repent.  So i texted all involved and told them what the Holy Spirit said.   That i ask God to ride me of judgment, and yet i disobeyed please forgive me.

This to me is total proof that God loves me.  For starters He knew i would disobey Him yet called me by name to follow and serve Him anyway.  Then He Blessed me with PERFECT WEATHER  for picnic.  Than He disciplined me and gave me the ears to hear Him, and heart to obey correction.

God just told me that which i deemed to much was actually an act of service and love.  Wow God You really know how to pull at my heart strings.

God is showing me that while i am asking Him to remove judgment from me and the world i am riddled with it.  Father Forgive me.  Break me of ALL that is not of You.

How Father do i explain how judgment is so binding.  i know it’s not my job it’s Yours.  Not to mention haven’t got this myself.   Only You lead us into Truth.  Father lead us in to All Truth, Your Truth.   Do not let this world and it’s ways creep into that which You made to be Holy.  Do not let us take from the ONLY ONE FOUND WORTHY – JESUS, that which is His.   The Judgment  seat.   Lead us all into seeing that ALL we judge we are guilty of  ourselves.

Father give us Your heart for Your people.  May we love with a sacrificial love.   May we not reject Your discipline and correction.  May we rejoice in the discipline knowing You only discipline those You LOVE.   Teach us to look only at You.  To see ourselves in those we judge, that way we won’t.

Father Thank You for showing me that how much YOU have transformed me, and how much more i have to go in that process.


Gods ways are not our ways

Have you Ever notice that if you ask someone something over and over and over people think you are a nag?

Have you ever been really  hurt by someone and you repay them with gifts of things really wanted?

Have you ever taken time to rest in your job to the point that your natural boss would fire you.  Only to find that you got more done that day then when you kept at it like a race horse?

Ever try losing weight only to give up, eat the junk food anyway than lose more  weight then you had set out to?

Have you ever meet someone you liked and clung to them so tight they stopped hanging out with you because you were so needy?

These are some of the things that baffle me.  i am now realizing that Isaiah 55:8-9 means what it says.

God wants us to keep asking over and over and over again.  He wants us to be so needy upon Him.  Wants us to rest, not judge food, and bless those that hurt us.

See when i do  something bad  this world punishes me, and condemn’s  me.   God Blesses me into repentance.  When i rest in Him,  i  get far more done than when i’m running around like crazy, working my head off.

i guess what i am really trying to say is that i was praying for the same thing over and over.  Someone said to me we are not to do that and i took the bait.  Forgetting all God taught me.   There are so many verses that illustrate we are to keep asking.

God just told me this is a character of Jesus, perseverance.

Everyday i have to ask God to show me how to love others.  Keep a guard over my mouth.  Keep my eyes on Him.  Ask Him to use me to minister love to others.  Write His laws on my heart.   Everyday i have to rest in Him.  i can’t afford to take a day off.

i have to keep asking, knocking, seeking.  Till the day He takes me.

Gods Word says we will not be complete till Jesus comes again.  To think we can ever arrive here on earth is a fallacy.   We have to come to God as if our life depended on it.  IT DOES.   Life not only here as we know it, but true life, abundant fruit producing life.

These are the prayers i pray.  God show me Your heart for Your people, May i have this heart, use me, tell me what to say, Humble me, make me to be obedient.  Crush my bones, none of me All of You.  May i know ALL provision comes from You.

These are prayers that if i do not ask daily i will slip away from seeking to achieve.

Gods Word tells us to pray without ceasing.  Giving Thanksgiving, knowing He will answer.  For if our earthly fathers give, SO MUCH MORE  will our Heavenly Father.

Father i am not sure what it is i am feeling right now, or what it is that i am to learn from the words You woke me up with this morning.  Your ways are higher than my ways.  Bless us to be the salt and light You called us to be.  May we love as You love.  May  Your ways be our ways.

How can i? i often ask this./ chisel me Lord


this skit really puts it into perspective! check out this version. Father may we throw off all we run to, to ease our pain in life. relationships, booze/drugs, beauty,suicide.

Talk about tearjerkers.   Father my i endure the pain of you chiseling me.  may we be the masterpieces  you created us to be.

for those that like good remakes

good songs thats all

Father Thank You for the gift of music.  Be Glorified.

Thank You for giving me the Privilege of knowing what it is like to be in a room full of people singing Your praises like this.  Must say was the best corporate worship  i ever experienced.   all in unison oh how my heart was so taken away.    This is heaven on earth to me.  ALL SINGING YOUR PRAISES.

Not about my pursuit, it’s about the Privilege and Honor of standing in Your Holy presence.  LEAVING CHANGED!   JESUS BE THE CENTER ALL ABOUT YOU

Romans 8

Absolutely there is no condemnation in those that dwell in Christ Jesus.

Where i get frustrated is that we take this verse and use it to justify ourselves.   God wants Thankful hearts.  He wants us to be so Grateful that we are made right in His eyes.  We are to see this Holy Scripture and say Thank You Father, Thank You Jesus that You not only gave up Your rights, You so rightly deserve.  But came to this earth never throwing Your Rightful weight around.  Letting others mock You, beat You, Crucify You.  You did this for us.  Sinful self-serving us.   How can i show gratitude to You Lord?

i am one of those Christians that drives people nuts!  For i never say, nor do i ever want to say ” i believe in Jesus i am going to heaven.”  This i personally feel contradicts many of Scripture. (search the Scriptures for yourself)  Want i want is a pure heart, a Thankful heart.  i want to serve Him not knowing if i’ll get in.  This is where i think faith meets the rubber. ( sort of speak, rubber meets the road).  i want to serve Him for all He has already given me.  To much to ever count.

Why do we wait for heaven when the One we profess to believe in tells us.  PRAY THAT GODS WILL, WILL BE DONE ON EARTH.     We wait and wait.   My personal opinion, God is waiting on us.

We take Romans 8,10 and use it to become prideful.  We know/ have something others don’t.   Is it me or is this not TOTALLY CONTRADICTORY OF SCRIPTURE?   God wants NONE TO PERISH.

Lets take a closer look at ” many will come to me and say I prophesied in your name, healed others in Your Name.  He will say I NEVER knew you”.   WHY?   i feel it is cause we did these things not in gratitude but for self-serving reasons.  So others will look at us and think we are all that.   Good news is if i’m wrong God is Judge in the end.  so i am ok with being wrong.  i am also ok with seeking to have a pure heart, and gratitude without the insurance of a free ticket to heaven.

Father forgive me if i said anything contradictory to Your Holy Word.  If i did not, please pour out Your Spirit and resonate this in Your children’s hearts.  Father crush any pride in my heart.  Humble me Lord, that i may Glorify You and You  Alone.

was going to add Scripture but felt i would only be using it to justify my case and that would be no different then what i am complaining about.  Search for yourself Jesus tells us.

Jesus is the Way Truth and Life no one comes to the Father except though Him. Period case closed

Transformation part 2

Father Thank you for such a well rounded day.  Thank You for calling me by name in spite of all my sin.  Be Glorified.

Today was a day, i have yet to label good, bad, ?.   i got up ran out the door.  Stopped to buy coffee.  Our water line broke last nite so no home brewed today.   i went to a homeless shelter to do intern/volunteer work.  Been doing this once a week for 4 weeks now.

i go in to 1st session with head counselor and just listen as i normally do.  For i am not a counselor.  The woman is one i have seen for 4 weeks now.  What a Blessing to see someone grow.  Thank you Father.

There is someone who prays in another room while we are in session.  When they get a word from the Lord they write it down and God tells them which door to slide it under.  There are several counselors there.  Well this person is always right.  Why? because it comes from God.    Today when the counselor read what was written on paper i thought that’s for me.  What are the verses given with Word i asked her.  i looked them up and sure enough it was for me.   God is multi  His word can not only minister to one but to all.  This time it did to me.    See i was in that session disheartened at what satan is trying to do with my marriage.  i was holding back the tears and praying to God to comfort  me.  Well Jesus said ” Ask thou shall receive”  He doesn’t lie.  Those verses so comforted me, so did the word given.

If that wasn’t enough blessing while we are waiting on next client to come in.  Head counselor says i’ll let (my name) go in with the doc.  Then she will come in.  The doc did what he does, left and i was there alone.  God so showed up.  This woman was abused since childhood.  She does not want to go back there in her past and heal.  Who does?   God used me to show her how if we avoid our past and pain it will follow us to the grave.   It holds us in bondage.  That until we heal it.  It will distort every aspect of our lives.   Cloud our judgment.  This woman was not having it.  The head counselor had been trying for months to get her to face it  to no avail.  God and Only God softened this woman heart with His words in my mouth.   i told here that when we in our limited knowledge look at our past hurts we want to run from that pain.  When we do it ourselves we only rehash the past not knowing how to get to the root to bring lasting healing.  But if we invite God and a counselor into the mix.  Though it will still be painful it won’t be overwhelming.  That God will not ask her to heal over night.  He will only work on one thing at a time.  In a pace He knows she can handle.  That as one issues is address the other won’t be so bad.  That He and the counselor will know what to look for, how to get to the root.  How to bring forth True healing.     There will be times it will hurt, but God got you through the original abuse, He will be with you as you heal.   i asked her if She invited God to help her when it was happening.  She said no.  i told her then it will definitely be easier with Him by your side in healing process.     i told her what had happened to me.  Told her how  i was called a slut, whore, no good for nothing, should catch AIDS, for hours on end by  my dad.  Chocked so bad i had black and blues from ear to ear on my neck.  As he yelled i’ll kill you.   That though that healing hurt, here i am sitting here talking to you.  Never did i think that would happen.   The pay off  of  the healing is so great, it is worth revisiting the pain .  God is redeeming.  She asked who helped me.  i told her the head counselor plus other people God sends your way.

She said she believes everything happens for a reason but she doesn’t know why this happened.  i said so you can help others through.   She is like i was.  Always wants to know the WHY of things.   i told her God broke me of that.  His ways are not our ways.  His purpose is to lead all to Him.  That He will take the sin of this world and use it to accomplish that purpose.  We are not to ask God why?  But rather What do You God want to show me in this?  What do You God want to be for me in this situation, that You could not be at any other time?   God in the end judges.  So for us to get the why and think that helps really isn’t true.  It doesn’t bring relief.  Doesn’t right the wrong.  Just leaves us with more questions.   We will never know all the why’s of life.  Keep your eyes on God and when things happen to you, they will take on a whole new view.  They don’t affect us the same.  Because we are seeing them from Gods  prospective.   God is in the healing business.

Though she was apprehensive she saw that her pain is holding her in bondage.  That she can’t run from it.  God wants to restore her and will keep at her till she says ok lets heal this God.

It is in Gods hands now.  The counselor planted the seed, i watered it, and now God will bring the harvest.  Please pray for her.

When i was in my pain/drama never did i think one day 4 volunteer sessions later God would be using me to bring healing to someone.  How can i not sing of His goodness?  His restoring power?

God is showing me now in my pain.  ( it is inevitable on earth) that if i keep looking at Him.  i will be ok.  As soon as i look at me or the other person i will get bitter and resentful.  That only leads to more PAIN.  So i am learning KEEP YOUR EYES ON GOD.

That’s why 1st session i was crying.  i was looking at me not Him.  That is also why later in the day.  While at hardware store, buying water line i said to God please don’t let me cry here i’ll look like such a girl.  Well i asked God  to humble me in past.   So God had me litterly on my knees isle 3 crying and praying that that He will bring healing to the inner most parts of my husband and i.   God reminded me how i  would pray this with hubby before bed every night.  God  showed me that what is going on between us is just that HEALING!  Sometimes that hurts.

i just heard God say “stop saying what satan is trying to do in your marriage.  satan isn’t in control I God am.  God is healing my roommate and i.  Just cause it hurts Doesn’t mean it is from satan.   Does satan want to divide us YES.  Will he  NO.   Just keep your eyes on me God “.

Father Your Mercies endure Forever.  You are so Awesome!  How did i get so Blessed to be able to serve you in a way i always dreamed of as a kid?    Thank You Abba Father.

FYI verses were  Rev. 3:20   John 8:32,36    1Corth 14:1,3,5 < ….. < before these came under door, God gave me these verses…….. >Colossians 4:5,8  Colossians 3:12-17  Phil 4:4-6